Why Don't You Like Me?

When people don't like me, it really gets under my skin. I pride myself on being a people person. I like to be liked. I try hard to maintain relationships and would do anything to help a friend in need. Most of the time, I end up giving much more than I ever get back, and it's become such a common occurrence that I'm actually surprised when a friend is a friend back to me. And that's a little bit depressing really. 

Just recently a girl I thought was my friend, blocked me on Facebook. I've been there for her for work commitments, birthday parties, relationship struggles, tragedies, etc. And not once has she ever returned the favour. And I never expected her to. Looking back now, it's pretty obvious that she just used me, but that doesn't stop the hurt of being tossed aside without rhyme or reason.

I don't have a lot of friends, and none in the area that I live. So the ones that I do give my friendship to, they usually mean much more to me so I give much more to the friendship. When someone chooses to walk away from me, I take it really personally. It's an attack on who I am, like I'm not good enough for them. I went through this when my ex and I broke up, and basically every single time a relationship in my life fails. I go through the rollercoaster of self-doubt and anger and sadness and confusion. Eventually I wind up asking myself the same question; what's wrong with me? 

But the truth is, there's nothing wrong with me. People just drift apart. People change. Life changes. And it's okay for you to be hurt or sad or angry about it. But don't let it overcome you or belittle you. When someone exits your life, that just leaves more room for the right people to come into it. Sometimes you have to wait a little while for new friends to enter the picture, but that just gives you time to get to know yourself better. You're going to be the best and longest friend that you'll ever have in life, make sure you appreciate and nurture that friendship so that all other friendships have a model to follow.

Until next time, 
Ruby xx


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