Fuck This Shit



All my adult life, I've been the go to person. The rock. The shoulder. The reliable one. The one that pulls up her sleeves to get stuck in and do the hard dirty work. I left my own life and ambitions behind for my ex. I did it again when my parents divorced. And I'm doing it still for my grandparents. I get genuinely upset when others are upset and I try really hard to help out when and how I can.

I've sacrificed so much and given so much of myself and life away to others, and it never seems to come back when I need it. I've been so helpful and generous that people just expect it from me now, so acknowledgement and appreciation are seemingly always overlooked. I deal with all my issues and problems on my own, not because I want to, but because no one is ever around when I need them, they only reappear in my life when they need me again.

I'm sick of being everyone's doormat and boxing bag. I'm sick of being the one that always misses out so others don't have to. I'm sick of my own wants and needs being outdone by the wants and needs of others. Today I've been utterly dumped on by three different people. Even though I'm exhausted after a hard night with Nan, overcome with hayfever and feeling like little more than a piece of shit emotionally. But no one stops to think about me. No one stops to think about how what they're saying and doing will affect me. And I've had enough.

This is my "fuck this shit" moment. I'm done. I'm washing my hands of it all and going to focus on me and my life only. No more Mother Theresa act. Being a good person can only get you so far, sometimes you have to stop planting trees for the forest when you've got a perfectly good tree in your own backyard. It's time to head home and lay under my tree and focus on myself. The forest will continue to grow without me, perhaps just a little bit slower and harder than it's used to.

Don't be afraid to put yourselves first. One day you'll stop and realise you've been pouring from your jug for so long that it's now completely dry. And then you'll go thirsty. Unless you've got people around you that are ready and willing to fill your cup up for you.

We need to stop taking the people in our lives for granted. Think about everyone in your circle and everything that they do to help make your life better and fuller. Say thank you. Give hugs. Give gratitude cards. Offer them a helping hand when they need it. Be the one that helps make their life better and fuller because if you can't appreciate them, one day they'll end up having their own "fuck this shit" moment and you could very well end up losing them forever.

Until next time,
Ruby xxCome See Ruby On Facebook

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