Ruby Warrior Princess

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As much as I like to think I'm a badass warrior bitch queen with full body armour made of dragon's scales and diamonds, sometimes things can still get to me. And more often than not, they're things that appear to be only insignificant and small. But usually they're the last straws.

I don't often let the chaos of the world, and of others, enter my life, but some days I'm feeling a little sad or tired or unwell or I just had a bad day. And on those days I'm weaker than usual. And vulnerable. And these things can then manage to find a way in past my armour and strike me right in the heart. And it hurts more than it should because these seemingly tiny little things have momentum. They're powered by all the other things that have struck me in the past and all the ones that tried to get in to hurt me but couldn't until this one little thing paved the way. And suddenly they've overcome me. And I feel like I'm wounded beyond rescue. And things become much harder than they should be and I struggle just to keep breathing.

But then there's a flicker of a reprieve from the pain. And I remember all of the times that I've been mortally wounded in the past yet somehow I miraculously beat the odds to survive each time. And then I start to believe that I'll do that again. So the big pain slowly turns into a little pain. A manageable pain. A pain I can learn to ignore like so many other pains before it, so that eventually I can function again. And soon enough I've forgotten all about the pain. Until the next one gets through my armour.

We are all fighting our own battles, all in our beaten up and worn out armour, every single day. Sometimes we win unscathed from the ravages of life. Whilst other times we're defeated and broken down to within an inch of safety or sanity. You might think that the stone you're throwing at someone is only tiny, but it might just end up being the one that finds its way in through their armour and destroys them. Stones should only be used in construction, and not for destruction.

Until cryptically next time,
Ruby xx

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