Big Girls Do Cry
Today was a fat day. I woke up feeling fat. Every item of clothing that wasn't washing felt uncomfortable on. All my photos from today made me look fat. I felt guilty every time I ate. I kept catching myself holding my tummy like a pregnant chick does with her baby bump so it's pretty obvious that even my self conscious is feeling fat. Wednesday was brought to Ruby by the word 'fat'.
Arghhh!
Most of the time, my weight doesn't bother me. Of course I'd like to have the rest of Scarlett Johansson's body (it's fine Scar, I've got the tits part covered, you're good) but that isn't gonna happen until I'm settled in Aussie and joined up at a gym again. I told myself that my last fortnight in NZ would be worryfree but today just had to go and ruin that. Even when you're a confident curvy mamacita with zero fucks to give, sometimes fucks find you and then they make you give them. So you feel fat. And then fat overcomes you. And all of a sudden all signs are pointing back to fat and you can't escape fat. Fat is like some kind of infectious mindcontrol disease. Once you get a taste of feeling fat, it just spirals out of control until all you see is fat. And it gets pretty fucking depressing pretty quickly.
If you managed to follow all of that, you've probably had some experience with "the fats" yourself.
But as I lay here in bed (with a chocolate chip cookie and my cider
😂) I remind myself that weight is only a number. I'm no different to the girl I was the day before, or the girl I'll be tomorrow. I just let the fats get the better of me. I had a day of weakness. And that's ok because I'm human and humans are renowned for fuck ups. So tomorrow I'm gonna put my fat girl panties on and not let fat define me. Thursday will be brought to Ruby by the word BOSS.
Don't let the fats keep you down and out forever. Fat means nothing. Attitude means everything.
Until next time,
Ruby xx
Arghhh!
Most of the time, my weight doesn't bother me. Of course I'd like to have the rest of Scarlett Johansson's body (it's fine Scar, I've got the tits part covered, you're good) but that isn't gonna happen until I'm settled in Aussie and joined up at a gym again. I told myself that my last fortnight in NZ would be worryfree but today just had to go and ruin that. Even when you're a confident curvy mamacita with zero fucks to give, sometimes fucks find you and then they make you give them. So you feel fat. And then fat overcomes you. And all of a sudden all signs are pointing back to fat and you can't escape fat. Fat is like some kind of infectious mindcontrol disease. Once you get a taste of feeling fat, it just spirals out of control until all you see is fat. And it gets pretty fucking depressing pretty quickly.
If you managed to follow all of that, you've probably had some experience with "the fats" yourself.
But as I lay here in bed (with a chocolate chip cookie and my cider
😂) I remind myself that weight is only a number. I'm no different to the girl I was the day before, or the girl I'll be tomorrow. I just let the fats get the better of me. I had a day of weakness. And that's ok because I'm human and humans are renowned for fuck ups. So tomorrow I'm gonna put my fat girl panties on and not let fat define me. Thursday will be brought to Ruby by the word BOSS.Don't let the fats keep you down and out forever. Fat means nothing. Attitude means everything.
Until next time,
Ruby xx
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