Sensitivity; The Double Edged Dagger

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I've never used to be the type of person that would talk about their feelings. I used to think I could get through life like this, until I met my first serious boyfriend. My lack of emotional communication skills often led to some very heated exchanges. I would let my hurts and annoyances fester inside of me until they became too big to contain and would end up erupting in a slew of cursewords and abuse. It got so bad that my ex felt too scared to talk to me about anything. I knew I had to make a change but I just didn't know how.

So with any new venture I take in life, I started slow. I began by being honest with myself about my feelings rather than burying them deep down and forgetting about them until it was too late. I quickly learned that I was a very sensitive person and that people's words and actions affected me deeply and often. At first I thought my sensitivity was a major flaw, but now I know it's one of my greatest strengths. Being sensitive gives me the ability to be empathetic, caring and understanding. It helps me to be the kind of person that I strive to be every single day. I'd be lost without my sensitivity now.

People that witness how deeply I feel things often snicker or roll their eyes at me. They laugh when I cry because of a song or a movie or even an advert on TV. They judge me for it. I've been labelled a "sook" and a "drama queen" more times than I can remember. It used to bother me. But now I just feel sorry for those that don't get to beautifully feel the world the way that I do. It's a gift they'll never allow themselves to have and I have no doubt that it'll leave a hole in their lives that they won't even be aware of until they're looking back at the end of it all.

Feeling things so deeply is a bit of a curse but it's more so of a blessing. When you learn how to acknowledge and accept your sensitivity you start to learn how to use it to make a better life for yourself, and others. I have hope that one day society will learn to celebrate, rather than belittle, a person possessing one of the most beautiful attributes a human being could ever have. The world needs more love and sensitivity is a direct pathway to it.

Until next time,
Ruby xx

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