The Ruby Knight Chronicles

Yesterday marked a huge anniversary for me;  ONE ENTIRE YEAR IN AUSTRALIA! I never thought that I'd survive this far away from my family and friends but after the hellish first six months came an amazing following six months. I love my life and I've never been so happy, even if I'm sometimes homesick. This past year I've made some incredible friends, landed the most insanely satisfying and rewarding job with the best bosses anyone could ask for and found a second family that loves and supports me unconditionally. I've traveled across the country, seeing and doing things I never thought possible. I've overcome humongous hardship and heartache, with the help of three very special ladies that I'm so lucky to have in my life. I've seen the Queen Dita Von Teese perform live and hugged a koala, knocking two things off my bucket list in a matter of months. I've booked and paid for an amazing holiday coming up in six months where I'll meet my Mum...

Do you know what grinds my girl gears more than anything? That successful women HAVE to be beautiful women. Just about every female "role model" that we have is usually famous for being good looking. Yet their male counterparts seem to have been excluded from this beauties-only club. But why?  Why do females have to feel attractive in order to feel powerful? Why are there so many superficial conditions thrust upon our sex? And what can we do to make a positive change for ourselves, and the women we know and love? Just about every photo I post, goes through a rigourous "will men still want to sheetsaddle me after seeing this photo?" check... Pimples? Photoshop. Eyebags? Photoshop. Extra lumps and bumps? Photoshop. Just plain ugly? Photoshop. No friends/life outside of Netflix? You guessed it. Photoshop. The rise of social networking has given more push on the rise for appearance perfection. It's most evident in our disgust at being tagged in photos that l...

As you get older, your amount of fucks to give away diminishes, along with your ovary omelette makers. So, you find yourself letting go of cares and concerns that once seemed Everest, and now in age, have become those waste of time road bumps that are so little that you don't even need to slow down for them. Some people refer to aging as the gaining of wisdom or maturity, but in actual fact, it's more like an increasingly lazier approach to fuck giving. I'm not quite over the hill yet, but my days of certain fuck giveth and taketh have long since died out, and with that comes a sense of freedom and independence, but mostly a sticketh to the maneth attitude born of aging rebellion. Things that used to stress me to the point of alcoholism back in my teens, no longer seem so significant in the grand scheme of things. A few years ago I found a rogue grey hair. I plucked the fucker out but I'm pretty sure it planted the seed of carefreeness which has been silentl...

2nd July 2016 Last week I went shopping for a dress to wear for my date with Dita. And after two entire days spent "shopping", I was left empty-handed, disappointed and feeling rather glum about myself.  A few shops had gorgeous dresses, but nothing left on the racks above a size 10. One shop specific to my size (14 and above) had gorgeous dresses, but nothing below $90 (that's nearly a whol e day at work for one freaking dress!). And another shop claimed to have my size but not even the size 16 would encapsulate my curvy body (What the actual fuck?!!). And don't get me started on the amount of shops I walked into and walked out of just as quickly feeling like a disaster at attractiveness once spying the tiny shop attendants wearing the tiny clothes they're selling. The only places that actually fit my size and budget were Kmart and Target, and as much as I love love love these two stores, they didn't exactly have anything Dita-worthy. So why is it so...

5th May 2016 Sometimes it feels like you're going backwards regardless of how hard you try to go forward. These are moments where you either sit back crying "why me?" or you dust yourself off and push on even harder.  Today I woke up at 3am with a full on flu. Kept myself in isolation so no one else in the house would get it and at 2pm I was sick of the four walls of my room so got my running gears on and too k it all out on the pavement. On my run I discovered a few things. I'm really reeeeeeally unfit. My sports bra is amazingly supportive. I love pushing myself physically. And now the flu seems to be on the way out. So what started as a meh day ended as a fuck yeah day. Small victories. Until next time, Ruby xx Come see Ruby on Facebook: www.facebook.com/trkchronicles

When I was a teenager, I was OOOOOBSESSED with Marilyn Manson. Everything that man did, I was all over. I loved how he was unapologetically insanely different to everyone and everything. I always felt like a black sheep to not only my family, but to the world, and for some reason, it always made me feel inferior and unworthy. So when I found Manson, his music and musings became the catalyst that n ot only allowed, but encouraged, me to fly my freak flag high. I was weird yet wonderful and unashamed of my uniqueness for the first time in my life. I reveled in the spotlight that came from being the odd bod, the goth kid, the weirdo in black, the loser, the raven haired freak. I was finally comfortable and confident in myself. I went from wallflower to a walking Halloween tribute practically overnight. People used to point and stare, but it didn't bother me, in fact, it gave me a bit of a thrill. And then Manson married Dita Von Teese. And naturally my obsession grew to in...

When I complain about being alone, it doesn't mean I'm desperate enough to date just anybody that puts their hand up.  I tried to fill the true love void with lots of lovers in my teens and I only ended up feeling worse. I know I might face many more days of being alone but I will never concede defeat in something so important to me as love. Even if it means waking up as a single 60-something yea r old with 60-something cats. Some alone days are harder than others. Those are the days I voice my wish of finding romantic love. But just because I'm willing to admit I'm feeling lonely, doesn't mean I'm willing to be with just anyone so that I'm not alone. Don't tell me to settle. Don't recite to me the 'pros of being single' list. Don't point out every man and his dog that's offered to be my lover, there's a reason I haven't acted upon the requests, trust in my inactivity. Don't belittle or judge me for my day of lonely ...

I was reading through a book called "Dressing Up Vintage" by Tracy Tolkien, and was amazed at some of the fashion facts that I had no idea about. Like did you know that in 1943, billionaire eccentric Howard Hughes, most famous for his contributions to the Aviation industry, invented the Cantilever Underwire Bra? He designed it for  his then girlfriend Jane Russell, to be used in the filming of the movie "The Outlaw", and it's sole purpose was to emphasise her already ample assets. Whilst the book was rather limiting in its substance, it got me intrigued about what other fascinating styles and inventions that may have arisen during the mid part of 1900's. I wanted to completely focus on the Fifties but the more I researched, the more I became overwhelmed with things that occurred before the "Golden Era". I put some thought into it, and decided I didn't want to be pigeon-holed into such a limited duration of time, especially as I live and bre...

The other day I watched my 78 year old, 6-stroke surviving, dementia-gaining, half-paralysed Nanna, get up and walk to the loo without asking for anyone's help. Earlier we had talked about her needing to exercise her legs to stop them from hurting, and somehow she remembered our talk and decided to be proactive. Against all the odds she's facing, even as grim as her outlook might be at times, she  still has some fight in her. I watched her and thought "that's the Nan I remember. That's my warrior Nan". When I was about 15, I did work experience with a photographer from a local newspaper. We had spent the morning taking photos of a store opening in some little nowhere town, and I was beginning to think I'd picked the wrong career experience. And then a call came over the radio and all of a sudden we were rushing off to the next town which was by the sea. We arrived at the fishing wharf and on the jetty were dozens of police and ambulance staff. A man ha...

When people don't like me, it really gets under my skin. I pride myself on being a people person. I like to be liked. I try hard to maintain relationships and would do anything to help a friend in need. Most of the time, I end up giving much more than I ever get back, and it's become such a common occurrence that I'm actually surprised when a friend is a friend back to me. And that's a little bit  depressing really.  Just recently a girl I thought was my friend, blocked me on Facebook. I've been there for her for work commitments, birthday parties, relationship struggles, tragedies, etc. And not once has she ever returned the favour. And I never expected her to. Looking back now, it's pretty obvious that she just used me, but that doesn't stop the hurt of being tossed aside without rhyme or reason. I don't have a lot of friends, and none in the area that I live. So the ones that I do give my friendship to, they usually mean much more to me ...

You're far more valuable than you think. Have you ever felt like no one would ever notice if the earth just gobbled you up and you were never to be seen again? Have you ever sat in a bathroom at school or work, just to eat your lunch alone without looking like such an outcast? Have you ever been so lonely that you find yourself reaching out to complete strangers online just to have some semblance  of normal human interaction? I have. To all of the above. And there are days when worthlessness and loneliness team up to become a self-esteem super-villain and they just pick away at my guards until I'm completely broken and utterly vulnerable to their negativity. Those are the days when I can't look in the mirror. Where my greatest achievements mean nothing. When nothing anyone says can convince me that I'm worth more than what I'm giving to, and getting for, myself. The days that would never exist if I just believed that I was enough. I've always felt inadequate...

You don't know what's worth living for until you're facing your own demise. I've always been a sensitive soul, although I'm sure some friends and family members would probably describe it more as 'dramaqueenness'. I remember being about 5 or 6 years old and every time we went to our local video store, I'd try to get my parents to hire out this awesome looking animal tape from the kids castle. It  had heaps of cute bunnies on the cover, and I had a pet rabbit called 'George', so I was certain I'd absolutely love this movie. But Mum always said no. I thought she was being mean. She wasn't. She was just protecting my sensitiveness. The movie was 'Watership Down'. I'm 28 now and I'm yet to see the movie or read the book. I hired it out from the library one time, but the cover photo depicting a rabbit trap meant I never actually even turned the front cover over. I know my sensitivity limitations. But it's taken me all m...

This photo is from last year and this girl doesn't know that she doesn't know who she is. I've always been a people person. I have this weird ability to read people and situations quite accurately and I'm creepily super observant. If something isn't quite right, it'll catch my eye, people included. You'd be amazed at how much a person gives away without even realising it. Having these "super powe rs" means I can usually acknowledge, understand and then adapt myself to fit in well with different people from different walks of life. But it also means I'm so caught up being different Ruby's for all the different groups, that it's all too easy to lose sight of who the real Ruby is. As well as being a people person, I'm a people pleaser. I don't like seeing others upset or hurt or going without and so I'm that clichéd person that gives their shirt away. In a perfect world where unicorns pop out rainbow poop, my generosity...

I see women tearing down other women in an unflinchingly ferocious and terrifyingly brutal manner almost daily, and fuck me, it not only fondles my frustration cockles past the point of bearablility (totes just made that word up i think), but it also absolutely exhausts me. As if life wasn't a cunt enough, these silly bitches wanna throw shade and make things tougher for each other. I know we're supposed to be these unstoppable shebeasts that are perfectly capable of kicking ass and taking names along with the menfolk, but the feminist in me is more than happy to yield and admit that men certainly have overwhelming advantages in life, such as their greater physicality (and getting to piss standing up seems pretty fucking badass too). I'm constantly hearing account after account after mother fucking account of women being dominated and used and abused by the subpar human beings that masquerade as grown ass men. It might be a man's world but there's a vast differe...

Rant ahead. Excuse the over-abundance of obscenities and sexual references about to follow but photos like this kick me right in my ladyrage balls. I fucking hate the double standard that allows men absolute sexual freedom but shackles the netherflowers of women across the world. I fucking hate the judgement that a sexually-confident mamacita endures whenever she chooses to live her life from outside the kitchen she's supposed to hide in. And i fucking hate the misogynist attitudes that photos like this not only arouse but also give birth to. What a woman (or man for that matter) does with their genitals shouldn't affect you unless they're your partner or your patient. Why the mother fuck does it matter if Maude has slept with 19 partners? How does that make her a bad person? Why when women are sold as sexual objects daily is that, on the whole, socially acceptable, but people lose their shit if a chick likes to regularly smush their privates with the privates of othe...

There's always a huge buzz whenever female stars are caught on camera without their war paint on because, heaven forbid, they're not the perfect godlike beings we/they like to make out that they are. It makes it really hard for us normal everyday average ladettes to get by without spending the better half of our mornings getting ready for the day as if we were about to walk the runway at fashion week. I recently tried going a couple days without a touch of makeup, and not only did I become a total recluse, but when I did absolutely horrendously have to make a public appearance, I was subjected to a barrage of questions starting at "are you tired love?" and ending at "Jesus Mary and Joseph, it's nothing serious is it?!!". To which I had to reply "no I'm just ugly but thanks for pointing it out" 😂:'( I used to think that the YouTube makeup gurus that could transform themselves into modern day deities with the flick of a br...

This is one of my favourite photos of myself. Even though my thighs are a little chumbly (i think i made that word up but it totes describes how i see my legs so it stays lol) and chunky, my hair is in that awkward growing out stage aka ugly AF, my muffin top is protruding out like my bloody hip was having a baby and my outfit is veeeeeery far from on point. But none of that bullshit matters. Because right before this photo was taken, I was laughing. And right after it was taken, I was laughing. Pretty much the whole entire day on which this photo was taken, I was laughing. My 11 year old brother was behind the camera and we had just spent the past hour riding our bicycles like crazy maniacs from Mad Max through the forest. It wasn't our first adventure and I really hope it's not one of the last, even though I'm being a fucking terrible big sister by moving to another country and leaving my partner in crime behind (I have the guiltsquirms every time i think about it). Li...

Since the Golden Globes show aired, there's been a whole lotta shade being thrown at my inspogoddess Amy Schumer. And why? Because she said that word that outdoes all the other words in the whole entire universe of words (except the N-word. And no its not 'naenae' as much as we all wished it was. What the actual fuck is even a naenae anyways? Is it like a N-word bae that you love twice as much? These things i ponder). So back on track, I'm like one of those people in Harry Potter that actually says 'Voldemort' rather than 'he-who-shall-not-be-named' (so i guess you could say I'm pretty ruthless) and therefore I'm just gonna come right out and say it, Miss A.Schu said 'cunt'. And people have lost their minds. I'm gonna let this post finish, but i just gotta say.... Kayne West is telling everyone he's a genius and that's like acceptable... ? Um. Really? Sorry but I'd rather listen to the sound of my bonedry cunt being pilla...

This is my most liked photo on instagram by a longshot. I can give you 2 reasons why this photo was popular and both are rather.... errr... on display 😂 The reason I'm bringing this up is because I just finished having a conversation with a guy friend of mine and his most popular photo on the insta was one where he's holding his baby niece. Cooooooome on. Are we REALLY that lame and unoriginal guys?! Us girls like the cliche family guy image and the men all like the cliche girl with tits out pic. Fuck that. I'm gonna go like photos of men in speedos and turn the tables. Probably won't do shit but it'll still be pretty funny to look at men in speedos for the next hour or so. Ruby out xx

It's raining where I live so I'm cooped up inside sulking like a small child in time out. I say that like I actually had plans/a social life for the rain to ruin 😂 But in all seriousness, which doesn't happen often, although it might be bucketing ponds and lakes on us here, across the ditch in Aussie and just down the road from my bestie, there's an enormous fire destroying land, homes and lives. I just wanted to take this opportunity to send my love to all those affected by the inferno in Western Australia. And a huge thank you to the men and women on the ground doing their best to put the fire out. You're all heroes and my thoughts and prayers are with you. It's easy to forget about tragic events around the world when they're eclipsed or replaced by other tragic events in the news and also by the daily struggles and stresses of our own lives. It's not until the big scary  stuff like this happens to you or your loved ones, do you really s...