A Love Letter To Men

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Thank you for holding my handbag without flinching every time I need to use the loo. 

Thank you for giving me your jersey when it's cold even though you told me it would be cold and I should take a jacket but I chose to ignore you because my outfit was on point.

Thank you for holding my hand even when it's sweatier than a fat man's crotch in a sauna.

Thank you for letting me touch your eyelashes because they're so dark and long and pretty.

Thank you for massaging my feet after a long day in the very shoes you told me would hurt my feet.

Thank you for saying "good morning beautiful" to me even when I wake up looking like a sasquatch that's been electrocuted.

Thank you for pretending you don't hear me fart.

Thank you for putting on my necklaces and bracelets even when the clasps are ridiculously tiny in your giant manhands.

Thank you for letting me warm my icicle feet up on your body.

Thank you for getting excited every time I take my clothes off.

Thank you for just cuddling me even when your little friend is wanting more.

Thank you for not laughing when I queef.

Thank you for buying me tampons at the supermarket even when your mates are there having an impromptu reunion.

Thank you for unclogging the drain of all my hair.

Thank you for noticing how smooth my skin is after every time I get a wax.

Thank you for letting me finish even after you've already finished.

Thank you for letting me win sometimes.

Thank you for putting up with the clutter of makeup covering every inch of benchspace in the bathroom.

Thank you for telling me I look nice when I've made an effort to get dressed up.

Thank you for telling me I look nice when I haven't made an effort to get dressed up.

Thank you for hating the same people I hate even though we both know you really don't.

Thank you for all the forehead and cheek kisses.

Thank you for never judging my singing even when it resembles cats in a washing machine.

Thank you for all the spider and bug home relocations.

Thank you for letting me watch you shower even when you're not aware I'm doing it.

Thank you for making me feel safe simply by wrapping me up in your arms.

Thank you for making me a cup of tea every single time you have one.

Thank you for not pushing me in the bedroom when you realise I'm feeling insecure, unsure or uncomfortable.

Thank you for choosing me over the millions of other girls in the world.

Sincerely yours,
A lady that cannot wait to find you xx

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