Single Forever



The funniest/most horrifying thing just happened to me.

I was standing in front of the mirror in my ugly strapless bra and granny panties. My uterus is all swollen because period so I pushed my gut right out and then I took a photo pretending to be preggers. As you do. 

Anyways... Because I'm such a retard and don't know how to work my phone properly I just sent that photo accidentally to the date that probably won't be a date now.

😭😭😭😭😂😂😂

#singleforever

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Acne Fucks Me Up The Ass

Image
I've got a fucked up face so I'm using Snapchat to hide my downfalls  😂 Well. Not really. But I do have a terrible case of acne, particularly on my chin and jawline, that has been plaguing me pretty much since I got back from NZ. I've been on antibiotics for months, all of which haven't helped and have only kicked my butt because I'm really intolerant to them. And because it's been going on for mo nths without getting better, my normal run of the mill acne then went on to become cystic acne, which is not only ugly asf, but very painful too. Huge deep cysts under the skin that you can feel constantly and are very hard to get relief from because of how deep they are. In other words, the motherload. After a myriad of blood tests and doctor visits, I've been told I'm healthy and my hormones are normal so no one really knows what is causing my face to freak out so much. As a beauty therapist I have some idea about how to deal with acne, but everythin...
Read more

Tumeric My Saving Grace

Image
Tumeric has amazing antiinflammatory and healing powers. It has been used to treat skin conditions for centuries. I watched a TV show a few years back where the host  Rachel Hunter  would travel to different countries to discover their attitudes and treatments for beauty. When Rachel got to India she was treated to a tumeric mask and told about the benefits of using tumeric both topically and when i ngested. So I thought I'd give this tumeric mask a go. And I have to say, even after just one mask, I can already feel and see a difference. Below is the mask I created, I used things I had around the house that I know would be good for helping my cystic acne. There are no measurements, I just mixed them together and made a paste before applying to clean dry skin. Tumeric Face Mask. Organic honey. Manuka would be best. Apple cider vinegar. Tumeric powder. Lemon juice. I applied the mask and let it sit for about ten minutes. Then washed it off. I was expecting super yellow s...
Read more

Humiliatingly Hilariously Honest

Image
A snapshot of traumatic/hilarious moments in my life that have ended unexpectedly positively. Thus proving that rock bottom humiliation has surprising benefits, you just have to know how to laugh at yourself first.  I once farted long and loud while sitting in front of the guy I really liked, and a bunch of other kids, and the wind of my ass made the wet togs I was wearing ripple across my left b utt cheek. I thought my chances with hot dude were ruined. Turns out he thought I was funny and the next day we ended up hitting primary school third base; hand holding. I have refused to eat seafood ever since I was a little kid. My parents told me fish fingers were made from chicken. I believed their treachery until I became the brunt of public laughter at dinner one night on a school camp. I proclaimed loudly that I didn't eat fish and then went on to eat fish fingers. I think I was like twelve. Definitely old enough to know better. Bright side is the knowledge that one day I...
Read more