A List To Enlist

Someone once told me that I expected too much from a partner. And it got me thinking, maybe I do and that's why I'm still single?

So here's a few things I'd like from the future Mr Knight, and if it's asking too much, y'all better let me know or the SPCA will be fresh outa cats

#1
He needs to be funny as fuck because it can't be left to me to carry us both.

#2
He needs to be patient as fuck. Because me.

#3
He needs to be caring as fuck because I'm a sensitive needy little fucker that needs more attention than a newborn.

#4
He needs to be randy as fuck to be able to keep up with me. Batteries are too damn expensive!

#5
He needs to be stubborn as fuck to be able to outdo my Ox-like will.

#6
He needs to be frugal as fuck to withstand my shopping spree storms.

#7
He needs to be Henry Cavil as fuck. Because Henry Cavil.

#8
He needs to be understanding as fuck especially when we're running late and I make us later because fuck you eyeliner.

#9
He needs to be handsome as fuck or else Henry Cavil.

#10
He needs to be loyal as fuck because I'm a scary goofbag nutter with more ups and downs than a pair of panties on a stripper, and i need someone to stick by my side regardless of calm seas or 59m waves.

If you fit the bill, or know a Bill that does, come at me Mr Knight.

There's a lot of fucks in there because I obviously give a lot of fucks about this. But mostly it's because someone told me I swear too much the other day and I'm just trying to antogonise them now.

Until next time,
Ruby xx