The Ruby Knight Chronicles

For any kiwis thinking about traveling across Australia, here's a few handy pointers; 1. Check under every toilet seat. Use your foot for bonus points. Just trust me on this.  2. Don't be afraid to take the road less traveled. Just make sure you've got roadside rescue because sitting in the middle of nowhere in desert-like heat is a wee bit of a holiday downer. 3. Do not swim anywhere unless it's chlorinated. Sharks, crocs, jellyfish and snakes don't seem to like swimming pools. 4. You might think sunblock is for pussies but just wait and see how tough you are when your nipples are peeling. 5. If you're driving cross country, be prepared for a fuck load of nothing. Scenic routes usually mean hours of staring at dirt. 6. Kangaroos suck. Don't let their cute confuse you. They're large suicidal assholes that rejoice in fucking your car's shit right up. Extra tip- drive when the sun is up, roos are apparently scared of the sun. 7. Petrol prices h...

Yesterday marked a huge anniversary for me;  ONE ENTIRE YEAR IN AUSTRALIA! I never thought that I'd survive this far away from my family and friends but after the hellish first six months came an amazing following six months. I love my life and I've never been so happy, even if I'm sometimes homesick. This past year I've made some incredible friends, landed the most insanely satisfying and rewarding job with the best bosses anyone could ask for and found a second family that loves and supports me unconditionally. I've traveled across the country, seeing and doing things I never thought possible. I've overcome humongous hardship and heartache, with the help of three very special ladies that I'm so lucky to have in my life. I've seen the Queen Dita Von Teese perform live and hugged a koala, knocking two things off my bucket list in a matter of months. I've booked and paid for an amazing holiday coming up in six months where I'll meet my Mum...

Suicide. We've all been touched by it. We've all witnessed the devastation it creates in our lives. We've all seen the heartache it leaves behind. It's easy to be angry at suicide. It's easy to blame suicide for everything. It's easy to lose sight of why suicide came into your life.  But just remember, suicide isn't the culprit. Suicide is the escape route. The shortcut to relief. The short-term "right here right now" and not the long-term "time heals give it time". Suicide is the easy. When you're so overwhelmed with sadness or regret or pain or anger, that's all you can see. That's all you can think about. That's all you feel. Logic leaves. Hurt overrides. And nothing that should matter, can matter anymore. But you mustn't take suicide personally. Don't let it overcome your feelings for your loved one that's succumbed to it or attempted it. Don't let it make you feel like a failure or a mistake or...

I've been wanting to post about International Women's Day all day and with that post, include a bombass photo with bombass makeup and hair. But unfortunately this girlie has been busy at work. So here's me. All worn out after a long day in the heat of the Australian outback. Makeup half sweated off and hair all a mess. And I don't even care. Because as a woman in 2017, I know there's far greater t hings to worry about than just how I look. So here goes... Last night I watched Married At First Sight. And a groom by the name of Andrew had been talking absolute shit about his bride and then used the excuse of "it was boy's night" in a pathetic attempt to brush his wrongdoings under the rug. And what made it worse was one of the fellow boy's night attendees backed him up in his lies. But before the blood of all ovary-bearing damsels could boil right over, along came a simple country bloke riding in on his white horse armed with truth and justic...

We're such a selfish society. We take everything that everyone says and does and we turn it into being about ourselves. Someone gets 1475357 likes on their post after you've posted something incredibly similar beforehand yet you've only received 4 likes, including a pity thumbs up from mum. Obviously something is wrong with you. Let's disregard the logical facts that said post-copier might have m ore friends/family/stalkers/ etc. Or their Facebook fans might be more proactive than yours. Or they posted at a time when more people would see it than yours. Or a million other reasons that don't actually have anything to do with you or your selfworth or how people see you. But regardless of all that sense and reason, you still take this shit uber personally and get decidedly depressed because post-copycatter is clearly way cooler than you'll ever be. Doesn't that sound like some seriously self-absorbed bullshit? And we do this kind of thing all the time. ...

No offence to the rarity that is the 'nice' blokes, but like, what the actual fuck men of the world?!! I'm really struggling to understand why guys started thinking it was peachy to TRY to solicit sex without so much as a "how's your father?". And why they feel it's alright to put on the unmanwhore mask, thus lulling us ladies into a false sense of chivalry, until they inevitably end up whipping  it off as they whip it out to send the infamous dick pic. Are shady one liners and snapshots of one man cockpits the best any of us single ladies are ever going to get? Don't confuse my disdain for sexism though. I love men. I love how they can change lightbulbs and open jarlids and relocate creepy household disturbances otherwise known as bugs. But mostly I love how they don't have the 59 million emotional thoughtwaves zooming through their heads like us ladyfolk, so they're usually a one thought at a time kind of people, making them pretty eas...

The funniest/most horrifying thing just happened to me. I was standing in front of the mirror in my ugly strapless bra and granny panties. My uterus is all swollen because period so I pushed my gut right out and then I took a photo pretending to be preggers. As you do.  Anyways... Because I'm such a retard and don't know how to work my phone properly I just sent that photo accidentally to the da te that probably won't be a date now. 😭 😭 😭 😭 😂 😂 😂 #singleforever