Ahhh, Could You, Like, Just Not?
Things that people do that drive me around the fucking bend that I'm not allowed to punch them in the boob for doing.
Episode One.
#1
Breathing. Especially through their mouths and that almost-snoring type rasping happens that makes you assume they're sick so you suck it up because they can't help being sick now can they? But eventually YOU get sick... and fucking tired of listening to some asshole's sick breathing so you ask them if they're sick as a subtle hint that their sick breathing is ridiculous but then they say they're not sick and you're just like whaaaaaaaaaat?!!
#2
Eating. When they're chewing with their mouths open like some bloody cow chewing cud out in the field in the middle of the wops where said cow's chewing can only annoy other noisy cows chewing cud.
#3
Taking too long to do things. Like when you're waiting in line at the petrol station and Martha the server is creating a goddamn lifestory by telling her lifestory to Bill who doesn't really know Martha that well and he was hoping that'd be enough reason not to get stuck listening to Martha's lame ass long ass incessant chatting but turns out Martha feels otherwise because here she is boring Bill with her reenactment of her cat's trip to the vet on Monday. Meanwhile Bill can feel the death-penetration stare I'm throwing at him and Martha so Bill keeps trying to wrap the chat up but Martha is a fucking moron.
Stay tuned for more tales from the are-you-fucking-kidding-me side.
Until next time,
Ruby xx
Comments
Post a Comment