Medicare or Medican't

2nd July 2016



Word to the wise; don't get sick in aussie if you don't have medicare.

So I spent last night in the ER. What started off as a migraine turned into an abscess turned into a severe sinus infection. After 6hrs in the waiting room in pain without painkillers, I was fiiiiiinally taken in to be seen by a doctor.

In my 12hr stay, I had to give 3 urine samples (try peeing into a tiny cup 3 times without your hand wearing it, those odds are not in your favour), had needles in both arms and eventually the lure pierced through my artery pumping my right arm and hand full of fluids like Nutty Professor style, was given a morphine overdose and had my blood pressure skyrocket to stroke material and then my poor wee heart was thumping harder than a Kardashian on tape which lead to a full blown anxiety attack that I was growled for by a cuntpunch of a nurse (because anxiety is toooooootally something we can control...), gloriously vomited profusely into 2 sick bags, had a reaction to IV steriods that felt like painful electric fireworks going off in my vadgal region, had a MRI and xray done of my face and brain whilst flashing the elderly oderly bloke my granny panties from behind my stunning couture hospital gown and managed all of that on 2hrs sleep with nothing more than a cookie, vanilla coke and 2 kidsize flakes (given to me by a random girl in the waiting room all of which I emptied into the sick bags later when the nurses tried to kill me via morphine), apple juice and a cup of tea for sustenance.

Discharged at 1pm today only to not have a way home. Walked 4km to the mall in the clothes I slept in. Was wolf whistled at twice (apparantly the undead look is killer with the fellas). Phone died. Public emotional breakdown ensued. Found a nice info kiosk lady to charge my phone. She hugged me and told me "everything was going to be ok". I didn't believe a fucking word of it but it was still nice. Three Uber drivers canceled on me leaving my manky ass sitting on steps in the sun to further curdle. Was catcalled by a van of boys driving passed (ladies forget this looking good shit, 2 day old skunginess is where it's at). And finally after 2hrs after being discharged, a super hot Uber driver picked me up. Typical as I looked like fucking shit that had been shit out by another shit. Got home in time for my family to arrive home from work. Laid on my bedroom floor having another emotional breakdown. Picked my lip up, showered, got dolled up and ventured off to Jupiter's casino to go see the queen herself; Dita Von Teese. Which was fucking more awesome than not having to wear 2 day old undies anymore!

I'm finally home. At midnight. Exhausted. Sore. Eating a cold piece of KFC chicken before taking my drugs and just dying. Not literally though. Came close enough to that already lol

And here I was complaining about my boring life.

Oh and the bill for my doctor, pharmacy and hospital trip; $2165. But if I get medicare before 10 days are up, I won't have to pay $2050 of that. Should probably get medicare then.

Until next time,
Ruby xx

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Location: Gold Coast QLD, Australia

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