Disdain For Dickery
I'm really struggling to understand why guys started thinking it was peachy to TRY to solicit sex without so much as a "how's your father?". And why they feel it's alright to put on the unmanwhore mask, thus lulling us ladies into a false sense of chivalry, until they inevitably end up whipping it off as they whip it out to send the infamous dick pic.
Are shady one liners and snapshots of one man cockpits the best any of us single ladies are ever going to get?
Don't confuse my disdain for sexism though. I love men. I love how they can change lightbulbs and open jarlids and relocate creepy household disturbances otherwise known as bugs. But mostly I love how they don't have the 59 million emotional thoughtwaves zooming through their heads like us ladyfolk, so they're usually a one thought at a time kind of people, making them pretty easy to get a read on, regardless of how clever their penises try to make them believe they are. However, I've been discovering lately that most of the men I'm encountering are all thinking about the exact same one thought; a root.
So listen up you shaft and ball bearing humans of the world. Enough is enough. I do not want to put anything you excrete bodily fluids from anywhere near where I intake food into, well, at least until the second year of marriage. In failing that, maybe by the tenth date. By then you'll be so blinded by my awesome that you'll forget to wear the mask and I'll know whether or not your words and actions are led by either the brain in your head or the other smaller one in your pants. Until then, enjoy dazzling me with your newly acquired conversational skills and actual giveth a fucketh attitude. And feel free to pass on my condolences to Mr Weiner for the death of his photographic career. He had a good run.
Until next time,
Ruby xx
Comments
Post a Comment