Goodbye My Lover
The end of a love affair.
I'm flying back home to Australia this weekend, and I had planned on catching a bus to my ex's house and having him drop me off at the airport after spending a few days with him. But ever since we made those plans, I have been in two minds about it.
I really enjoyed our new years together and would have loved loved loved more time with him.
But...
I felt my heart getting sucked right back into that tragic love bubble that it always weasels its way into. And after years of putting my wants before my best judgement, I've finally learnt that I can't keep putting myself into situations where I'm only bound to get hurt.
Plus it'd mean 2 less days with my family, who will always be in my life, unlike menfolks.
So tonight I text him and fessed up to being the owner of a hopelessly romantically pathetic little heart and that because of that embarrassing little fact, my plans have now changed and my mum will be driving me up to the airport.
I knew he would probably be frustrated or angry at me because I'm always so indecisive with him, this isn't the first last minute planditch I've thrust upon him. And before I sent that text, I knew it would probably ruin the budding friendship between us, thus me losing him from all parts of my life, for good. But I finally listened to my head.
And now my heart is sad.
After 10 years of having someone in your life and then knowing they won't be in it anymore, is a damn hard road to choose to venture down. And the pre-australia me would never have even stepped foot down that track. But this new years, I promised myself that I would do whatever it takes to ensure longterm happiness, rather than only ever focusing on the short term happiness my heart's so used to pursuing.
So goodbye my lover, my friend, my ex.
And hello to the new somewhat tougher but mostly just tired of lovelife limboing me.
Seriously though. Do breakups ever stop sucking?!! Freaking 2yrs on and it still gives me bad feels. I think my plan to be a Nun might not be such a silly idea after all
😂 Or it's just time I stopped holding onto the past and start embracing the future. Even if that means more horrific dating experiences or a life of celibacy and repentance 😂😂😂#fuckmysinglelife
Until next time,
Ruby xx
I'm flying back home to Australia this weekend, and I had planned on catching a bus to my ex's house and having him drop me off at the airport after spending a few days with him. But ever since we made those plans, I have been in two minds about it.
I really enjoyed our new years together and would have loved loved loved more time with him.
But...
I felt my heart getting sucked right back into that tragic love bubble that it always weasels its way into. And after years of putting my wants before my best judgement, I've finally learnt that I can't keep putting myself into situations where I'm only bound to get hurt.
Plus it'd mean 2 less days with my family, who will always be in my life, unlike menfolks.
So tonight I text him and fessed up to being the owner of a hopelessly romantically pathetic little heart and that because of that embarrassing little fact, my plans have now changed and my mum will be driving me up to the airport.
I knew he would probably be frustrated or angry at me because I'm always so indecisive with him, this isn't the first last minute planditch I've thrust upon him. And before I sent that text, I knew it would probably ruin the budding friendship between us, thus me losing him from all parts of my life, for good. But I finally listened to my head.
And now my heart is sad.
After 10 years of having someone in your life and then knowing they won't be in it anymore, is a damn hard road to choose to venture down. And the pre-australia me would never have even stepped foot down that track. But this new years, I promised myself that I would do whatever it takes to ensure longterm happiness, rather than only ever focusing on the short term happiness my heart's so used to pursuing.
So goodbye my lover, my friend, my ex.
And hello to the new somewhat tougher but mostly just tired of lovelife limboing me.
Seriously though. Do breakups ever stop sucking?!! Freaking 2yrs on and it still gives me bad feels. I think my plan to be a Nun might not be such a silly idea after all
😂 Or it's just time I stopped holding onto the past and start embracing the future. Even if that means more horrific dating experiences or a life of celibacy and repentance 😂😂😂#fuckmysinglelifeUntil next time,
Ruby xx
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