A Love Lost

At 17 I met the love of my life. At 28 I walked away from him forever. 

The love never died. A year on and I still love him. I still catch myself thinking about him and missing him. But it's far too late and there's far too much water that's crossed under too many bridges to ever be reunited again. 

We never learnt how to let our egos go. We never learnt how to be a team. We just didn't know how to get past our disagreements and arguments, so they haunted us well past being done. Little mistakes became mountains of pain and hurt. Small and petty became life-ruining big. And eventually love just wasn't enough anymore.

The last time I saw him, I was getting in my car and had this dull beating pain in my heart. I knew after 9yrs this would be the last time. My mind rushed back through the years of love and happiness. I got out of my car and wrapped my arms around him. He stood there awkwardly. I didn't want to let go, but I had to. This hug wasn't a big enough bandaid to cover the wounds we had left on each other. Before I could cry, I quickly climbed back in my car and drove away. Then I allowed myself to cry. I cried most of the way home. I'd done this drive so many times for so many years, and now it was the last. And the hardest drive I've ever done.

Don't let it get to the point of no return. Pride is a relationship killer. Take one for the team. Be the changes your partner's asking for. Make sacrifices. Forgive quickly. Love is a fragile and precious thing, not this unstoppable force we've all assumed it was. You need to treat it gently and with respect, or else you'll end up losing it for good.

Until next time,
Ruby xx